Welcome to AA

I hesitate to write this because I really don't want to jinx anything, but I have been running lately. On the treadmill, in intervals, walk 2 minutes run 2 minutes, for 30 minutes total. Sounds lame but let me tell you why this is a big deal. I am fat. Not just overweight but borderline morbidly obese. Seriously. That is where I fall on all the charts. When I step on the Wii fit board it goes "oh!" like it is surprised. When it weighs me the music may as well be a death march. "dun duh dundun dun dun". Oh and I hate running. We have a long history and I have always hated it.

It's ok. I know it. I am tired of it. Hence the running.

I can blame it on the 4 babies, but there is a lot more to it than that. I have basically had a sedentary life style for most of my life. I did exercise sporadically through out, but never enough to make a huge difference. I would lose 10 or 15 pounds at a time then slowly put it back on with 5 or 10 more. Exercise was never a huge part of my life and never encouraged as such either.

I danced when I was young. We moved when I was 8 and so I never really started again.

I played soccer for 5 years. I was the goalie because I was too lazy to run all over the field.

I started running track once but never made it to a meet because I found out I hated running and it really hurt my knees. (I have since been to a podiatrist and found out the problem is in my feet not my knees, so now it does not hurt. Not that way anyway.)

I have big boobs. Not conducive to running.

I bought a good sports bra, I got orthodox, I bought new shoes, I have a gym membership. So now I run. I am a runner. I have done it enough times to say I am one. Not a fast one and not long distance, but a runner just the same.

I run because it is the best way I know how to lose weight. Have you ever seen a fat runner? Besides at the gym? You do it enough for a long enough time and you are bound to become thin. I figure it may take me a year, but eventually I will run all the fat off. I don't want to be 40 and fat. I figure I better start now.

How nice will that be? I will know one day. I will keep you posted on my running.

p.s. secretly I have always wanted to be a runner...I just pretended I didn't.

My Not A Diet

Let's face it. Diets are crap. They are no fun and the only thing I do when I am on one is wish for the day I will be "done". But we are never done because as soon as we quit we put on more weight and then we have to start the whole thing over again. It sucks.



So here is my plan.



I am working out. My goal is 3 times a week but I am pushing for more. I gotta make working in that dumb day care worth my time! Did I ever tell you how much I hate to baby sit? Another day perhaps.



I am watching what I eat. Tonight at 10:30 when I really wanted Alfredo sauce and 5 bread sticks, I ate a salad. Yes I ate a bread stick too, but it filled me up and saved me like 800 calories. The key to this: I am going to eat what I want so I don't fell deprived. I am just not going to eat as much of it as often as I usually do.



I am not making this a goal or a resolution or a deadline type deal in any way, shape or form. That is just setting me up for failure, which I am not good with.



What I am doing is making it my habit. Our country is full of fat people. I don't want to be one of them anymore. I don't want my kids to become one of them either. It is pretty much certain if we continue doing what we are doing that we will stay fat.



I have no distinct weight in mind or time limit on when I will get there. When I can feel confident in my skin and run around with my kids without aching or getting winded I will know I am there.



I am not unrealistic about the body I want. I have stretch marks in crazy places. I have lots of spider veins. I even am starting to wrinkle in places... mostly from smiling. My boobs are sagging..but I did breast feed 4 babies. I know who I am. I would just like to not have excess fat underneath it all anymore. I can change that part. So I am going to.



I am a work in progress and I will never be "done". The moment I think I am is the moment I start to go the opposite direction I want to go.