I'm torn...

As you know, loyal reader, I have neglected the blog as of late in exchange for a job at the OG. I took the job as a way to 1) make some extra money this summer, 2) take the burden of a summer job off Ryan and 3) help pay for those "extra" things that come up that we never seem to have enough for. Here it is the middle of November, the holidays are around the corner and my summer job is still in full swing. It has served its purpose well. So well in fact that the "debt free" light is brighter than it has ever been.

PRO: It makes me excited about being able to finally buy a home of our own!
CON: I am missing out on being home with my kids at night.

PRO: I have co-workers that don't talk about kids, little pets, or what they are coloring in school.
CON: I have missed out on a few dance performances, ward parties, etc. that are normally "family outings."

I could go on and on about the things I have missed in exchange for having things we have missed out on. Mostly I am doing it to help pay bills. I keep telling myself that, but now we are used to the income so when the day comes that I really don't need the job, will I have the strength to quit? I think I feel bad because I don't feel like I am using the skills I have. I feel like I could be making a lot more money if I were to go after a job I trained for, but I don't want to work that much.

Here is the newest though... the kids and I now have health insurance through my job since Ryan's is super expensive and more than we can afford. So does that mean I just signed on for another full year? I am trying to process all of this without feeling bad about being away from home.

Why do we as mothers feel guilty for leaving our children with our husbands? He does a great job of raising our kids, probably better than me at times. It's not like I am paying a babysitter to raise my kids. I keep all the money I make without paying a daycare. The kids have quality time with just Dad, which is super important to their development and sence of self worth. I almost missed Clarks first steps though. He is talking so much lately that I am worried about missing important first words too. So should I feel worse than I do? Or is it ok for me to get rid of the guilty feelings I have?

Do you work outside the home? How does it work for you? How have your children adjusted to mom being gone? How do you make time to feel like a mom and not just someone who pops in and out of their life occasionally?

Any Excuse...

Have you heard the saying, "Any Excuse for a Party?" My siblings and I believe this with our whole hearts!

Birthday you say? Where's the cake?

The leaves are starting to fall? I will bring the egg nog.

Halloween? Bring on the candy!

However, we did have an even better reason to all be together this weekend - my sister, Molly, blessed her baby, Suzanne, Sunday morning. But Halloween was the night before so we got our candy on! (Can I say that?) We started it off with Luke's birthday party in the morning, then headed to Pocatello for two Trunk-or-Treats (three if you count the night before), a visit to Grandmas Davis' where we had donuts and cider, Trick-or-Treating for two hours in her neighborhood, then capped it off with a visit to the local Spooky Barn.

Here are a few highlights from the evening:

Ally, after a few Trunk-or-Treats, trick-or-treating and donuts, was obviously coming down from a sugar high. From the back of the van, we heard: "The best part of Halloween? FREE CANDY! Oh, and costumes." (She was a candy corn for Halloween. I made the costume from a pattern on the Internet and she bought candy corn earrings and a necklace with her allowance money.)

Luke nearly peed his pants as we went to one of the scariest houses in the Idaho State University neighborhood. A family decorates their yard as a spooky maze and then terrorize the tiny trick-or-treaters. They wind around a lighted path, led by one of the owner's kids. They pause to look at "scary" things, like a dummy filled with leaves, and move on to a cage with a another leaf-filled "dead" inmate. As the guide tells the children to lean in close, that you can almost hear him moan though dead, suddenly the inmate comes to life, screeching and rushing the bars. Luke bolted so fast, he took some of the lighted path with him.

At the Spooky Barn, our kids were excited and intrigued to go through this spook alley. However, other cousins were not. In fact, as soon as the other cousins (who were older, by the way) got into the front door, they started screaming uncontrollably. This tainted Emma and Luke, who just started bawling. That was it. (If Ryan had been there, he would have forced them through.)

Clark was just fun to watch waddle around in his bulky skunk costume.

I think it is safe to say that a good time was had by all.

Spooky Lukey Turns 5!

My boy is no longer small! He turned 5 last week which makes him big and qualifies him to have a "friend party". We had the party at Infinity Dance Studio. My sister, the owner, took pity on us and our small house. Luke invited a bunch of friends from our old ward and a bunch of friends from our new ward and of course all of his cousins.

Everyone came in their favorite scary costume and we had a lot of fun at the Spooky Lukey Party making monster cupcakes, playing Monster Mash Freeze Dance, and Wrap the Uncle Mummy. It was a scream!