Hey I am back

Hi. It's Lisha. Ryan went to his first "official" day of school today so I am back to being mom. Technically I guess I never stopped being the mom, but I guess now I will be in the house in that capacity during the day rather than Ryan so the role switch has gone back to "normal". I have a flood of mixed feelings about school starting/summer coming to an end. I thought I would share a few of my thoughts with you in no particular order. Pardon the randomness.

Being a mom and working full time is hard. I admire those of you who do it. I don't think I could do it all the time. I am tired just thinking about it. My schedule was a bit random that is for sure, but I was working 35-40 hours a week and only had one or two days off at a time so I think I kind of got the gist of what it would be like. I felt so disconnected from my family. One big realization came last night when I sat down to feed Clark dinner and realized I didn't know what he could and could not eat at this point in his life. I know he can digest most anything now that he is almost a year old, but he only has a couple teeth and I didn't know how easy it was for him to chew or even if he could yet. That was eye opening to me. I have not been around to watch the past few months of him growing up. Now he is turning 1 in less than a week and I missed a lot.

On that same note, my other kids have "grown up" in my absence as well. Did you know that Ry may or may not have left Ally to babysit once or twice while he ran an errand or two? Me either. The thought makes me a little scared, but she is getting older and becoming a lot more responsible. I am sure I did the same thing when I was her age, but we lived in the country.

Emma's cast is starting to smell. Thank goodness she onlly has to wear it 2 more days. We have been prepping her by letting her know that her arm is going to look like a snake when it comes off so don't freak out. Which of course she is.

Luke grew like 3 inches. All his pants are floods. His hair is some crazy walmart version of a hair cut so he looks like an orphan these days. We hit the Old Navy $10 sale but I think he still needs a few more pair. Oh and he is not allowed to wear them before school starts so he still looks neglected for another week. We did get some hand me downs from Langton which is always nice, but no pants.

The kids all have specific jobs now and are earning money for keeping up with their work $5 a week. We went to Claire's yesterday so Ally could buy new school earrings. She spent $23 and still has money in her wallet. Emma bought some sticker earrings. Luke is saving his money for Lego Indiana Jones 2 for the Wii when it comes out.

I have never looked forward to staying home with my kids more than I have this week. It feels like there is always something to go do though, so being home for a day has yet to happen. And if you know me at all you know that is something I usually would not say.

I got my hair cut yesterday. It is shorter than I have ever had it. Well since I have been an adult anyway. I like it. I think. I will let you know when I wash it and have to actually do it. I am lazy about doing my hair. But after a summer of pony tails I am tired of always wearing it up. I know you never thought you would hear that from me!

I am not ready for everything to come. Luke started soccer last night which officially makes me a soccer mom. Not sure how I feel about that one. Tonight is dance registration for IDS. We are doing a show again this year and I am always the "in charge" person for those. Not to mention that Emma will be competing this year as well. I will still be working at the OG a few nights a week. Super Saturday is fast approaching and I am in charge. The fair is in less than 2 weeks and I get to make the schedule this year. I think my unusually small mouth is a little full right now. Try not to make fun of it. My sisters do.

Showering is optional

Hey. This is Ryan.

Day Three of Mr. Mommin' it and I'm bushed! I had a raucous discussion with some of the sisters-in-law about when moms or anyone for that matter has time to blog. Well, it's 11:06 p.m., the kids have been in bed for an hour, I just switched the laundry so I'll have less to do tomorrow morning and I need to let out some emotional steam. This is when there's time to blog.

As far as the "you want crow with that?" portion of this week's eye-opening, today was pretty stock full of crow. As in, I'm eating a lot of it.

Man myth No. 257: Women should have enough time in the morning to shower, do their makeup, etc. and get out the door in plenty of time to make it wherever they need to be. I am ashamed to admit I have been critical of Lisha and her hygiene. Or more specifically, the conversation would go something like this:

Me: "Uh, you're showering right now?"

Lish: "Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

Me: "It's 3:30 in the afternoon."

Lish: "So?"

Me: "Why can't you shower in the morning, like a normal person? You have plenty of time."

Aaaaand ... scene!

Now, here's my awakening and crow-eating: Yesterday went fairly smoothly because I learned from the day before. I've been using old missionary planners to make sure my brood is on time for whatever millionth activity they had that day was attended and on time, thus resulting in my present-day overconfidence (or cockiness, if you will). I added a personal errand to the morning. Mistake No. 1. I loaded the kids up in the van and went over to a friend's house to deliver their family pictures I shot on Saturday.

I also had worked on them in Photoshop this morning (Mistake No. 2) while the children ate breakfast. Did I mention they were in the van in their PJs? Mistake No. 3, come on down! The meeting lasted a little longer and threw off my planner. When we got home, I told our oldest, Ally, to please get the dance clothes ready for later on, get dressed and could she get Emma (six years old) some clothes for today, too? We're up to Mistake No. 4, if you're still counting. I overloaded her tiny eight-year-old brain. She couldn't process all my instructions, so she responded with, "Dad, Clark (the nine-month-old baby) is poopy."

I knew that. I could smell him from down the hall. But, Luke (the four-year-old) had a game in 30 minutes, and it was more important to make sure he was getting dressed. (Mistake No. 5.) Besides, I was already rooting through his drawers for his game shirt and sweats, a fresh pair of underwear and socks and shoes.

As Luke dressed, I grabbed Clark and changed him. Poop all the way up his back. Again. How can something so little poop so much? And electric yellow? Really? He's also taken to kicking like a braying mule whilst getting his bum changed, consequently smearing the neon stuff into the carpet. Not duct-taping Clark to a changing station with some sort of poop guard: Mistake No. 6.

Ally's now screaming at Emma that, "DAD SAID YOU HAVE TO GET DRESSED! RIGHT (pause) NOW!"

Emma responds with, "AAAALLLLYYYY! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" and sprints out their bedroom door, naked and screaming, "STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Luke is joining in now by whining that he wanted to wear shorts. I tell him that it's about to rain and his game will likely be cancelled again anyway, so get your sweats on ... NOW! Mistake No. 7. He flails on the floor, bawling and throws his sweats, shoes and socks across the room, refusing to finish getting dressed. "When am I ever going to play in a game?!" he cries, over and over.

Clark is changed, poop scrubbed out of the carpet and now Naked Emma is in front of me, starting to (finally) get dressed. I had to console her and gently remind Ally that, "You're not the Mom." Emma sticks her tongue out at Ally and Ally retaliates by rolling her eyes and stomping in the direction of her room, wailing, "I was only doing what Daddy asked me to! Jeez! Everyone always thinks I'm lying!"

Later, I secretly thanked her for semi-doing what I asked. In her defense, she had gotten Emma clothes and laid out their dance clothes for later. Well, this happened about 10 minutes after she played with Clark and teased Luke with, "You're not gonna pla-ay, you're not gonna pla-ay." But she did do what I asked her. Sort of.

This was it! The children were dressed, their hair was done but I still had to get ready. And here's where I learned to understand why my wife could be stinky when I came home at lunch and what an ignorant jerk I was/am/will continue to be. I took a shower. We're up to eight crucial, time-sucking mistakes.

The kids were, allegedly, ready to go and riding their bikes. Clark was in his playpen/crib playing with his toys. I had about 15 minutes before Luke's game started to take a quick shower, get dressed and leave. Wrong. By the time I got out of the shower, dressed and shaved, we had five minutes to get to the ballpark. And - this should be tattooed on every poser-father's forehead - whatever can go wrong in those five minutes, will go wrong. Just as we were about to step out the door, Luke ran in with wet pants. "I had an accident," he whined. We were SO close!

I hurriedly changed his pants and underwear and we sprinted for the van. Emma was halfway down the block on her bike, so I made her stash it in a friend's yard (they were in Boise and wouldn't be home until later tonight anyway) and off we went.

We were about 10 minutes late to the game. And here's the kicker ... I went to the back of the van to grab Lukey's mitt. It wasn't there! "I think I know where it is," he said. "It's at home under the tree." He had been playing baseball with the neighbors the night before and left it in the yard.

There he sat on the bench, full-out sobbing because he was late (his team was in the outfield) and he didn't have a mitt. Luckily, another mom took pity on his plight (I told him he couldn't play without a mitt) and loaned him the extra one in their car.

So there you have it. Another day of trying to move four kids out the door and what have I really learned? I've learned not to get cocky. I've learned my wife is AMAZING. I've learned every mother who strives to provide their kid a decent summer, school year or whatever is FREAKIN' AMAZING. Keep it up, girls. You've won over this former criticizer. Now we only have to convince, like, 3.286 billion more. (That's the estimated male population on this planet, by the way.)

Epilogue: Luke was the last batter, which in t-ball means he hits the ball and everyone on bases runs home, regardless if they get tagged out or not. Translation: He hit two grand slams. He was so proud as he rounded all three bases and tagged home without stopping. And frankly, so was I.

Epilogue II: When we got home, he brought me his mitt. As he walked through the door, he put his hand in it and quickly recoiled. "There's something in it!" he cried.

We pounded on the mitt (Mistake No. 9) and a ton of earwigs and beetles came flying out all over the carpet, which Clark, who was in the vicinity, grabbed and ate before all four of us (by screaming at the top of our lungs) could stop him. He spit it out and started crying because we scared him so badly. He didn't stop until we left to take the girls to dance camp. That brings us to a full 10 mistakes. Another lesson learned: Don't leave baseball mitts outside in Idaho unless you want to recreate a scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Tomorrow has to be a better day. I have way too much housework and yard work to do for this weekend's impending baptism of Ally and arrival of my dad and stepmom. I'll get used to this and figure out how to get everything done without losing my mind, right? And I'll have time to shower in the morning, too, right? Right?! Oh, man. I am doomed to a very stinky summer. And I haven't even got to my misconception of how moms should have enough time and energy in the day to make sure menial housework is done before their husbands come home.

A day in the life...

Being a mom is nothing you can ever be prepared for. I knew how to do most of the stuff I thought I needed long before I ever became one. I can cook, iron, sweep, mop, drive, read, make a bed, do laundry, do dishes, scrub a toilet, play, change a diaper, and give hugs. I have lots of sisters and brothers to practice on. But there is something about being in charge of someone elses life that is a little overwhelming. And now 3 someones' lives. But I never seem to know everything. There is a new something to add to my list everyday.

For instance, Ally has a cold and has for about 4 days now. She stayed home from school Tuesday because she just was not feeling well. That was the responsible thing to do right? I don't want her to spread it around. Wednesday was better so she went to school but she is still super congested. So this morning I gave her some decongestant/cough medicine before she left for school. Being the kind of thinker I am, I gave her another little strip to take after lunch time was over. This way she would have the next dose in 4 hours. We went over when she was to take it 4 times so she knew exactly the right moment and not too soon.

About 8:30 I get a call from the school secretary. Ally has brought medicine to school and does not have a signed permission note from her Dr. for her to take it, so we have put it here in the office for you to pick up. You can come down here and give it to her, but she cannot take it herself. What in the world? That is a new one. I understand why and they are just trying to protect themselves, but this is just another example of the little things you can never be prepared for.

So of course I go down to her school at noon, the appointed time to take her medicine, after I drop Emma off at her preschool, so I can open the little foil packet and stick the strip on her tongue. Because as a 5 year old she is unable to do this for herself. It is about as difficult as eating a piece of gum. Something she has done a million times in her short life, but still too hard.

So next time I will have to plan ahead by calling the Dr. to get a signed permission form, go out to his office and pick it up, but after I drop Ally off at school because they are not open that early, and drop if by her school secretary with the medication so they can give it to her to take herself because they are not medical personnel to dispense it to her.
OR I can just take it the 4 blocks and give it to her myself.